Falling to Pieces and Coming Together Again
by Brown Eyes Parker
Summary: Beckett's supposedly gone and Castle's falling to pieces without her. But an unexpected turn of events brings him back together again. Rated T for weighty subject.


Falling to Pieces and Coming Together Again

A Castle and Beckett Story

By Hermione Potter1990

Summery:

Part two of the Blockbuster "Castle" from my POV. Beckett's supposedly dead and Castle's falling to pieces without her. But an unexpected turn of events brings him together again, Inspired by "Breaking Even" by the Script.

"Dad? Is Kate okay?" Alexis asked, opening the door and letting Castle into the apartment. "Dad?" she pressed when he didn't answer.

"Honey. . . Kate's gone."

"Gone? Gone!? Gone where!?"

"She didn't go anywhere," Castle answered. "She's just gone."

"Oh Dad. . . I'm so sorry." She fought back a wave of tears.

"Come here," Castle said gently. He opened his arms and Alexis fell into them, burying her face into his chest.

"Is everything all right? Honey, , , where's Kate? I thought you'd bring her back here—"

"She's gone," Castle said. "She's gone Mom."

"Oh Dear. . . I'm so sorry."

"Why?" He asked, handing Alexis over to his mother. "We weren't dating or anything."

"But you love her—"

"Cared about her," Castle said. "There's a difference."

"How big a difference?" She asked dryly.

"Mother, I don't want to talk about this right now. Take care of Alexis. . . I-I have to go."

"Go _where_?" His mother demanded.

But Castle had already fled to his room.

"Will he be okay?" Alexis asked anxiously through her tears.

"We can only hope and pray. We can only hope and pray."

He felt like he had switched to auto pilot after Beckett's apartment had blown up. He was so numb with grief and shock, he felt completely shut down. He didn't even bother to brush his teeth or get changed before crawling into bed and completely succumbing to the tears and anguish.

"Kate. . . Kate," he murmured into his pillow, the tears coming down thick and fast. His breaths coming out in short, little sobs. It took everything in him not to scream out her name in agony.

If he hadn't been a grown man with ladies in the house, he probably would have screamed until the ache in his chest had dulled.

Two hours later, he still hadn't fallen asleep. And '_Kate's gone, Kate's gone_' played loudly in his mind, his own personal mantra, a tattoo of ugly music. He wanted to drown out the voices. . ._needed_ to drown them out. So, he got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen, His mother and daughter were still awake, a pot of coffee between them.

"I'm going out,," he said.

"But Dad! What if the killer targets _you_ next?" Alexis asked.

Castle shrugged. "I'll be back later."

"Richard! You need to stay here and get some sleep!"

"I can't sleep mother! Every time I close my eyes, all I can see is Beckett's apartment blowing up. The only thing I can hear over and over again in my mind is, '_Kate's dead, Kate's dead_'! I-I-I don't--" he broke down into tears again and covered his face with his hands, his whole body shaking uncontrollably with sobs.

"Dear, run and get some Advil PM and a glass of water for your father."

"Sure Grandma," Alexis threw a worried glance at her father and then hurried to do what she was bidden.

"Now Richard, listen to me. . . now is not the time to break down. Kate's murderer is still out there, and she would want you to catch him. But how will you do that if you're a mess like this?"

"Come on Gran, let him mourn," Alexis said softly, handing her father a tall glass of water and two Advil PMS. "Him and Kate were close. And besides that, do you think a pep talk will help him right now? He needs us to sympathize and empathize. Not say _when the going gets tough, the tough gets going_."

"Well, let's get him to bed. Richard, darling, you swallow those pills. You don't toy with them."

"Come on Daddy," Alexis encouraged.

Castle put the pills to his trembling lips and swallowed them in one long gulp of water. "Now what?"

"Now I'm taking you to bed, where you're going to get some sleep. First thing tomorrow, we'll go down to the police department and see what we can do to help Kate. With time and maybe some counseling, I think that things will return to normal—"

"Grandma? I think that the Advil is starting to take effect," Alexis whispered. "Maybe we should actually take him to bed now."

"Oh. . . right! I absolutely forgot! Come on Richard, bedtime."

"Kate!?" Castle called out into the dark. "Kate!? Where are you!?"

A pair of soothing hands touched his face. "Rick. . . I'm right here, it's okay."

"Kate, how—"

"Shh!" She soothed. "Go back to sleep, I'm right here."

He drifted back off to sleep, not knowing if Beckett was really there, or if he was insane, or if he was dreaming. Or a mixture of both dreaming and insane. (He didn't think insanity would be so bad, at least he would have Beckett with him the rest of his life).

The next morning, he opened his eyes slowly. His head felt heavy and grogginess hung over him like a thick, weighted cloud. All of the events from the night before seemed like a dream, but very real at the same time.

"Kate?" He called out again, afraid that she wouldn't answer. . . afraid that if she did, it would confirm he was going insane. "KATE!?!"

And she was standing in his doorway, clad in all black. "Castle, I'm right here. There's no need to shout."

"Is it really you?" Castle asked, getting out of bed cautiously and going over to her.

"Yes," She answered, giggling nervously. "Your mother and Alex let me in. Well. . . once they got over their shock – Rick, are you okay?"

Castle nodded wordlessly. And then he said, "You're not dead?"

"Hardly—"

And then he was kissing her while he murmured her name over and over again. "Kate, Kate, Kate. . ."

"Don't you want to know what happened?" She asked breathlessly between kisses.

"Later," Castle replied. "I love you so much Kate. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Beckett started to cry, and Castle kissed her tears. "I love you too Rick. I love you too."

Their kisses became desperate, their confessions of love, a prayer. Relief that they didn't have to live without each other ran through their bodies, a lovely warmth. . . especially for Castle, who had experienced first hand what life without Beckett was like.

And than, he woke up.

"Castle?" Somebody murmured. "You're squishing me."

"Kate?"

She sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily. "Yeah?"

"You're here! You're _really_ here!" He threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "I dreamed you were here. . . and here you are." He started to laugh joyfully, but his laughter quickly turned to tears.

"Shh!" Beckett soothed, rocking him gently. "I'm right here."

**_The End_**

**A/N:**

**The first part with Kate and him, he was dreaming. The second part was real. (He isn't insane). I don't care what you think about this story (although I'd LOVE to **_**hear**_** what you think about it). I wrote this story out of that frenzied sadness with a tang of hopefulness that maybe next week things will really turn around and Beckett will be back.**

**Oh! And this is my first Castle fan fiction. Before last night's episode, I only toyed with the idea of writing one. A fan fiction, that is. So sorry if it's a little rusty.**

**Holly, 3/23/010_**


End file.
